Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Saturday, September 7, 2019

Crazy History Facts: The Difference Engine

After the French Revolution, the French figured they needed to adopt the metric system because life wasn't hard enough. The French philosopher Marquis de Condorcet said the metric system was, "for all people for all time". He was correct, and  America is the exception that proves the rule. 

One of the bad things about metric conversion is, someone has to convert whatever it was you were using to the appropriate metric units and values. In a period without computers, the French came up with a very odd solution. The top hair dressers of the time had a noticeable lack of nobility to pamper, so they were enlisted to do these calculations. Hair dressers are notoriously bad at math and there were so many mistakes, Charles Babbage decided to make a machine to do the math.

The Difference Engine was so fabulously complex, it had 25,000 parts and weighed 15 tons. It was started in 1847 and finished in 1991. It took 9 more years to construct a printer for output. Just in time for the year 2000.

Thursday, July 18, 2019

A little pointed mocking...

Oh, my wife so doesn't get it. My sister found a picture of me from 1985 and shared it with my wife. This was the result:

I could have been any one of the kids on Stranger Things. Well, except Barb because I was the DM and if I went missing, someone would have looked for me by 8 pm, Saturday evening.  

Thursday, February 7, 2019

A funny very short

Molly’s husband asked if they had a thermometer because he wasn’t feeling well. Her initial answer was, “I am feeding two babies because I am their mother, not yours. I am not the keeper of thermometers so you need to go look in the bathroom.”
Several minutes later, her husband comes back down stairs and asks, “Do we really need three thermometers?”
She turned to see him with a glass thermometer in his mouth and replies “You have one in three chance of wanting me to answer."
Molly is now officially the keeper of thermometers in her house.

Destiny evolution to 2 - No love for hunters

I've been plowing through my json file for G+.

Back in May of 2015, my son was playing Destiny with me. He was 9 or 10. In the middle of a mission, he stopped and climbed into my lap. I asked him what was wrong.

"I need a hug."
"Are you a Titan?"

I gave him a hug. He asked why it matter if he was Titan. I told him: "No hugs for Hunters."

I uploaded a crude screenshot of his Titan and my Hunter to the Destiny Community page in G+. This started my long time habit of heckling hunters in that community. 

Now, heckling is all in good fun and I suspect that Bungie had some fun with me and my son. Here is a screencut from Destiny 2. 

What are the chances? 

Sunday, March 27, 2016

File under Funny - College Job

In the early 1990's, I had a "job" watching the computer rooms at my school. I didn't take much effort, either it was nailed down or too old to be of use to the average student. I wasn't required to know anything about computers. Which was good, because I didn't. 

One day, a guy who had interviewed for the very job I currently held came in the room. He knew a lot about computers and for whatever reason wasn't given the job. I think he had a relative at the school and it was a political thing. Anyone but him as show of "fairness". 

His sudden appearance set off alarm bells. He was acting oddly, fidgeting with stuff and moving from work station to work station. Since the room was fairly full, it was a distraction. If someone got up, he plopped himself in to the empty chair and fidgeted before moving on. Final, I asked him what he was doing. 

He muttered something and turned bright red. It was clear he was both angry and embarrassed. I asked him to repeat himself and he shouted "I'm cleaning mouse balls!" 

I nearly died.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Five years ago… My tech support hell ended

Five long years ago, I quit my technical support job. I couldn't do it anymore.
Me: What seems to be the issue?
Woman: My monitor is broken.
Me: *click* No, it isn’t. It’s just off.
Woman: Yeah, that’s the problem. That green light is bothering me and when I press that little button, it turns off. The problem is, when the green light turns off, the monitor stops working.
Me: That is the power indicator light. It’s on when the monitor is on…
Woman: Yes, you understand!!! No one else understood the problem.
Me: …
I am very happy where I am now.